photography+ life







Monday, September 11, 2017

How to remove toxic people in life?

Recently, I have a feeling that some people will only bring disappointment and make me feel emotional as I am not supposed to be.  This is not a definition of a true friendship, it is suppose to bring out the best of you, make you feel happy when you are with someone. I tried to change his/her's perspective,  but it does not seem to work. Hence, I decided to google on how to move on from being friends with toxic people.
I found some of them are really useful.
1. Don't expect them to change. 

 It is true on the fact that you can’t force toxic people to change. They may change for a short period of time, and change to the one they used to be, it is a hopeless point to request true changes from toxic people.
"Toxic people are not motivated by what’s good for them or for their relationship with you—they’re motivated by their own complex problems and needs. When you give up the desire to change them, it’s much easier to let them go."

2. Establish and maintain boundaries. 
Toxic people will always make you to compromise more and more, to agree with them, and to please them. This is exhausting, as you might compromise for once, but not forever, 
Give some serious thought to what you will tolerate and what you won’t, is it reasonable for you to tolerate all of his/her temper, mood-swing.  When you get a sense that something’s not right in your interactions with someone, run through your mental boundary checklist and enforce these boundaries deliberately and rigidly.

3. Understand what you deserve. 
Toxic people will never deserve a good person like you who are always there for them. Some of them might act childish, and ya, this shows that you deserve someone that are in the same mentality as you. An obvious characteristics on toxic people, is that they don't really have much friends in life, like what a normal people will do. Hence, be alert with people you make friends with. Don't be happy and feel extra special if you are the only friend of his/her, as you might not know your tolerance level toward his/her. 

4. Surround yourself with healthy relationship. 
Finally, removing toxic people from your life can be hurt and painful, as you may deeply care for some of these people in spite of how difficult it is to have them in your life.
"To maintain your resilience and cope with any sadness, stay in close contact with friends who make you feel safe, cherished and happy. These are the people who will model healthy friendships and relationships, reminding you exactly why you are choosing to sever toxic ones."



No comments:

Post a Comment